The Pilot, Part 1
Jerry and George get the green light to produce Jerry, the pilot for the series based on their “nothing” lives. Russell Dalrymple, the president at NBC behind the pilot, is obsessed with Elaine. George is obsessed with a potentially cancerous white spot on his lip and a box of raisins taken by an actor playing Kramer, played by Larry Hankin (who had actually auditioned for the role of Kramer when Seinfeld began production). The real Kramer has intestinal problems and, on his way to find a bathroom, he gets delayed by being mugged and “misses his chance” to resolve the problem, resulting in constipation. Jerry has an audition with the new “Elaine” (played by Elena Wohl), a method actress interested in being Elaine in every way. The real Elaine has a problem with Monk’s coffee shop, as they appear to be only hiring buxom waitresses, so she tries to get hired and files a report.
The Pilot, Part 2
Rehearsals for the pilot begin. NBC executive Russell Dalrymple’s obsession with Elaine begins to affect his work; she tries to let him down easy by saying she can’t be in a relationship with a high-powered man and would prefer to be with someone selfless, such as a member of Greenpeace. Kramer resolves his constipation by administering himself an enema. George mistakenly thinks that his white spot has been diagnosed as cancer and goes on a tirade at NBC, only to discover that he misunderstood the diagnosis. At the taping of the pilot, “Crazy” Joe Davola jumps out of the audience and onto the set while yelling “Sic semper tyrannis;” he’s removed and the taping goes well. The pilot airs, and numerous characters from past episodes comment on its accuracy. In order to prove himself worthy of Elaine, Russell joins Greenpeace and is lost at sea during a botched assault on a whaling ship. His replacement at NBC dislikes the show and cancels it. In the end, George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine convalesce at Monk’s, where Elaine finally calls out the owner of the cafe for only hiring large breasted women; the owner explains that they are all his daughters, and everything goes back to normal. The last scene is Russell trying to be saved by his ship mates. He presumably drowns and dies. The cover for the Jerry Pilot script floats away at sea, along with the former NBC president.