The Phone Message

George and Jerry have dates on the same night. Both are going well, up to the point where George drops off his date at her place. While in the car, she (Carol) asks “Would you like to come up for some coffee?”. He declines because, “coffee keeps him up at night.” She says okay, and heads up to her place. As soon as she is gone, George realizes she wasn’t actually asking him up for coffee. Later, he calls and leaves a message on her machine, explaining that he didn’t realize that she wasn’t really asking him up for coffee at the time, and that he would love to have coffee with her.

George doesn’t hear from Carol, and fears his message scared her off. He leaves several more messages, his anger escalating with each message. He later learns that she has been out of town, and that is why she hasn’t been in touch with him. But, he realizes all the messages he left are waiting for her on her answering machine for when she gets home. Elaine explains that he just needs to get into her apartment and switch the tape with an empty one, her brother-in-law had been in a similar situation.

George has little confidence in himself, and fears he won’t be able to pull it off. He asks Jerry to come with him so he can make the switch. Jerry agrees, and they wait outside Carol’s apartment building the night she’s to come back into town. While they wait, George asks Jerry if he remembered the tape, to which Jerry replies with standard, and micro, pulling the tapes out of his pocket. When she arrives, she says she’s hungry and that the three should go get something to eat. George asks about her bags and says they should go upstairs (so they can switch the tapes) and drop off the bags. Carol says she can leave them with the doorman. George then takes Carol off to the side, away from Jerry, and explains that Jerry is a bit weird and doesn’t feel comfortable using public bathrooms. As they walk back over to Jerry, Carol says she will go upstairs, that way she can check her messages.

Jerry finishes using the bathroom, but they haven’t had an opening to switch the tapes. George asks if he can talk to Carol in private, he has something to tell her. They go to the bedroom, and Jerry makes the switch. They come back out of the bedroom with Carol commenting “your father wears shoes in the pool, that’s what you had to tell me?” Carol checks her messages, and there are none since the tapes have been switched. The three leave the apartment, with George and Jerry successfully accomplishing their mission. Carol then comments, that after they had finished talking on the phone earlier, her neighbor had played her her messages. George is caught off guard, and doesn’t know what to say, but manages and “Oh, uhhh”. Carol says “Yours were hilarious, we were both cracking up. I just love jokes like that.”