Seinfeld Reference – Page 16 – A website about nothing

The Dog

Jerry is on a plane back home when the drunk man next to him (played by Joseph Maher) falls sick and asks Jerry to take care of his dog while he recovers. He promises to call him and take the dog back when he comes to New York. The dog “Farfel” (although it can frequently be heard barking loudly, the dog is never seen) turns out to be very disobedient, barking constantly, and Jerry can’t go out anywhere.

Jerry, George and Elaine were supposed to see the movie “Prognosis Negative” but Jerry informs them that he has to take care of the dog and asks them to go without him. George and Elaine realize they don’t have a lot in common without Jerry around. They have a good conversation only when they are making fun of Jerry and his habits. Kramer also attempts to break up with his girlfriend, who is also unseen, in a very melodramatic fashion and later attempts to get back together in the same fashion. Jerry, tired of the dog, tries to contact the sick man, but soon finds out the sick man checked out of the hospital several days ago. Jerry then decides to take the dog to the city pound, but Elaine persuades him to let her stay with the dog for one more day. The sick man finally calls while Elaine is there, and picks up the dog, to Jerry’s relief.

The Pen

Jerry and Elaine go to Florida to visit Jerry’s parents for the weekend and go scuba diving. Morty Seinfeld, Jerry’s father, is also being honored at a ceremony the next night. Jack Klompus comes over to write Morty a check for a previous night’s dinner and Jerry notices Jack’s pen. When Jerry asks Jack about it, Jack tells him that it can write upside down and that astronauts use it in space. Jack offers an interested Jerry the pen. Jerry refuses his offer several times, but Jack persists and Jerry finally gives in. Helen Seinfeld, Jerry’s mother, asks why he took the pen and says he should give it back because Doris Klompus will tell everyone in the condo that Jerry made Jack give it to him.

Elaine sleeps on a sofa bed with a bar that sticks up through the mattress and hurts her back. She is extremely uncomfortable and it is not helped by the fact that the air conditioning is turned off. Jerry tries to console her by saying they only have two more days left before they go back to New York. The next morning, Elaine’s back is so hurt that she cannot go scuba diving with Jerry. Morty suggests she take muscle relaxants. Rumors begin to spread around the community that Jerry wanted Jack to give him the pen. Jerry goes scuba diving without Elaine. When he returns, he has black eyes because the capillaries around his eyes burst when he went underwater and pressure was too tight on his mask.

Jack comes over again and Jerry returns the pen. Morty yells at Jack for “taking Jerry’s pen”. Elaine decides she wants to take the muscle relaxants, but takes a slight overdose and acts goofily at the ceremony. Jerry has to wear sunglasses because of his black eyes. Jack is the Master of Ceremonies and turns the dinner into a “Roast”, making cracks about Morty at the podium. Morty starts arguing with Jack again about taking back the pen and they start fighting. The next day, a chiropractor looks at Elaine’s back and tells her she should not go anywhere for at least five days, extending both her and Jerry’s stay even longer.

The Truth

George tells his girlfriend, Patrice (played by Valerie Mahaffey), the truth about why he ended their relationship; as a result, she checks herself into the Woodhaven mental institution. Jerry is very upset at this because he is being audited by the IRS and George’s girlfriend, who is an accountant, was supposed to help him out. To make things worse, she has all of his tax papers and Jerry needs them back desperately, as he never had any copies made.

It was Kramer who had gotten Jerry into trouble by compelling him to contribute to a fake volcano relief fund. Kramer is also dating Elaine’s roommate, Tina, and Elaine complains about the loud tribal music and sexual noises in her apartment. Kramer also accidentally walks into Elaine’s room thinking it’s a closet and ends up seeing Elaine naked.

The Note

Jerry, George and Elaine get a note from Jerry’s dentist allowing them to get free massage therapy through their health insurance. While being massaged, Jerry makes an off color remark about a boy that was kidnapped in Pennsylvania. The therapist is freaked out by Jerry’s remarks, which later causes problems between her an Jerry. George receives a male massage therapist. He tries to get out of the massage, but doesn’t want to appear homophobic, and ends up getting the massage. Afterward, he tells Jerry “I think it moved”. Through the rest of the episode, George questions his own sexual orientation.

Later in the episode, we learn that Jerry’s dentist, Roy is being investigated for insurance fraud because of the doctor’s notes he has been writing for friends. Jerry is worried what will happen, not wanting to cause the dentist trouble, and asks what he can do to help. Roy tells him it won’t be a problem as long as he can get the therapist to go along with the story. Later, Jerry tries to approach the therapist at her office about the situation. The therapist is with her young son and fears that Jerry will try to kidnap him because of his earlier comments. She refuses to talk with Jerry, and she and her son flee the scene.

The Busboy

While out to dinner with Jerry and Elaine, George puts out a fire on the table next to them. The manager comes out, and George tells him everything is fine, just that the busboy put the menu too close to the candle. Elaine jokingly comments “I’m never eating here again”. The gang then sees the manager fire the busboy. George feels especially bad, and spends the rest of the episode trying to make it up to the former busboy, only to make his life continually worse.

The Chinese Restaurant

Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant before seeing Plan 9 from Outer Space.

The Baby Shower

Elaine hosts a baby shower at Jerry’s apartment while he is out of town.

The Deal

While watching late night television, Jerry and Elaine stumble across some soft-core porn. Both realize it has been a while since they have had sex. They talk about having sex together, but dismiss it at first saying it will ruin their friendship. They eventually come up with a plan to have sex, but still stay strictly friends with an elaborate set of rules.

The Heart Attack

While out to dinner with Jerry and Elaine, George is rushed to the hospital thinking he is having a heart attack. It turns out he needs a tonsillectomy. Kramer recommends a holistic healer, and because of the price, George goes with the holistic healer, rather than traditional medicine.

The Revenge

George has been banned from the executive bathroom at his office. Infuriated, he goes into his boss’s office (Rick Levitan), tells him off, and quits. He immediately regrets his actions, not knowing what he will do next. He and Jerry discuss possible job opportunities, but aren’t able to come with anything that suits George. Jerry tells George to go to work and pretend the whole thing was a joke. George does so, but in a meeting, George’s boss brutally insults and fires him. As revenge, George wants to slip his former boss a mickey, and enlists Elaine’s help.

Kramer catches Jerry on his way out the door to the laundromat, and asks if he would mind taking some of his clothes. Jerry hates taking Kramer’s clothes for fear that their underwear might mingle in the wash, but Kramer talks him into it. When Jerry drops the clothes off at the laundromat, he asks the guy to keep Kramer’s clothes separate, and in fact it wouldn’t hurt if he used an entirely different machine on the other side of the shop. When they get their laundry back, Jerry remembers that he had $1500 hidden in his laundry bag, but it’s not there now. Jerry and Kramer assume the guy at the laundromat took it, and Jerry confronts him about it. The guy says he didn’t see the money, but that he is not responsible for lost or stolen valuables pointing to a sign hanging in the shop.

George and Elaine attend an office party to follow through with their revenge plan. George gets into position near his former boss, as Elaine tries to distract him. At first she isn’t able to get his attention, but the makes mention that she just loves being naked, cooking naked, cleaning naked, naked, naked, naked. Rick loves hearing this, and is completely engrossed in his conversation with Elaine. George makes his move and drops the mickey in his drink. Rick then notices George, and being in a good mood, apologies for what he said to George, telling him he’s welcome to have his job back. Rick picks up his drink and offers a toast to George. George tries to stop him from drinking, but then Rick adds some backhanded compliments to his toast, so George tells him “drink up”.

Jerry and Kramer plot their revenge on the laundromat owner. Jerry visits the shop, distracting the owner with questions about detergent and fabric softener, while Kramer fills one of the machines with a bag of concrete mix.

Later, George and Jerry are seen discussing job opportunities for George again, implying that George has once again lost his job, this time because of the mickey. Kramer comes into the apartment, holding an envelop. It’s Jerry’s money, which had been placed in Kramer’s bag at the laundromat. Jerry says this is why he doesn’t like doing Kramer’s laundry. He asks what they estimated the damage to the machine would cost, and Kramer comments around $1500. Jerry leaves for the laundromat, money in hand.