The Statue

Jerry inherits a small statue that is identical to one George’s parent had when he was a kid. George had accidentally broken the statue, and hopes to be able to replace it with this one. Jerry tells him he can have the statue, but leaves it in the apartment for a while. Elaine is editing the book for an author by the name of Rava. Rava’s boyfriend Ray is a cleaner, and Elaine convinces Jerry to let Ray clean his apartment. Jerry agrees to let Ray clean the apartment. Jerry is highly impressed with Ray’s cleaning job, but is unable to find the statue he promised to George.

Jerry assumes Ray took the statue, but has no proof. He and Elaine stop by Rava’s apartment, and Jerry notices a statue exactly like the missing one. Jerry wants to confront Ray about it, but Elaine does not want him to ruin her business relationship with Rava. While in the elevator in the building of Elaine’s publisher, Elaine mentions that it is a big coincidence that Ray has the exact same statue that went missing from Jerry’s apartment. Rava admits that it is a coincidence, and Elaine says that it is an awfully big coincidence. Elaine and Rava then argue whether or not there are degrees of coincidences, but Rava insists that it is either a coincidence or it isn’t. Another person in the elevator then yells at Rava to put her cigarette out, which she then threatens to put out on his head.

Kramer takes matters into his own hands, and goes over to Ray’s apartment posing as a cop. He get Ray against the wall with his arms and legs spread, and steals the statue back, leaving Ray bewildered. He surprises George with the statue. George is thrilled to show it to his parents. Kramer pats George on the back which causes George to drop the statue and it shatters on the floor.

The Apartment

Due to a death, an apartment in Jerry’s building has become available. Jerry is shocked by the low rent, and immediately tells Elaine about it. Elaine is thrilled that she will be able to live directly upstairs from Jerry. Jerry is also excited at first, but after discussing it with George realizes that it might become a problem over time. George talks about wanting to wear a wedding ring to attract women.

Later, George borrows a wedding ring from Kramer to wear while at a party. Jerry is still worried about Elaine moving in, but the building managers inform him that someone else has a higher bid than Elaine. Jerry is relieved knowing that Elaine won’t be able to afford a higher bid. Jerry breaks the news to Elaine, feigning disappointment, and then Kramer interrupts telling Jerry to load Elaine the money for a higher bid. Put on the spot, Jerry isn’t able to come up with an excuse, and reluctantly agrees to loan Elaine the money. Elaine leaves, and Jerry tells Kramer he doesn’t want Elaine living in the building because of the potential problems it could cause.

George’s plan with the wedding ring doesn’t work out as planned. It actually completely backfires, and women that would otherwise be interested in George are disappointed to find out he is married. Looking to rectify the situation with Jerry, Kramer finds a friend that is willing to pay $10,000 for the apartment, knowing Jerry won’t be able to loan Elaine that much money. Jerry thinks everything has worked out great, but Kramer’s friend turns out to be a musician and plays loud music constantly, right above Jerry’s apartment.

The Phone Message

George and Jerry have dates on the same night. Both are going well, up to the point where George drops off his date at her place. While in the car, she (Carol) asks “Would you like to come up for some coffee?”. He declines because, “coffee keeps him up at night.” She says okay, and heads up to her place. As soon as she is gone, George realizes she wasn’t actually asking him up for coffee. Later, he calls and leaves a message on her machine, explaining that he didn’t realize that she wasn’t really asking him up for coffee at the time, and that he would love to have coffee with her.

George doesn’t hear from Carol, and fears his message scared her off. He leaves several more messages, his anger escalating with each message. He later learns that she has been out of town, and that is why she hasn’t been in touch with him. But, he realizes all the messages he left are waiting for her on her answering machine for when she gets home. Elaine explains that he just needs to get into her apartment and switch the tape with an empty one, her brother-in-law had been in a similar situation.

George has little confidence in himself, and fears he won’t be able to pull it off. He asks Jerry to come with him so he can make the switch. Jerry agrees, and they wait outside Carol’s apartment building the night she’s to come back into town. While they wait, George asks Jerry if he remembered the tape, to which Jerry replies with standard, and micro, pulling the tapes out of his pocket. When she arrives, she says she’s hungry and that the three should go get something to eat. George asks about her bags and says they should go upstairs (so they can switch the tapes) and drop off the bags. Carol says she can leave them with the doorman. George then takes Carol off to the side, away from Jerry, and explains that Jerry is a bit weird and doesn’t feel comfortable using public bathrooms. As they walk back over to Jerry, Carol says she will go upstairs, that way she can check her messages.

Jerry finishes using the bathroom, but they haven’t had an opening to switch the tapes. George asks if he can talk to Carol in private, he has something to tell her. They go to the bedroom, and Jerry makes the switch. They come back out of the bedroom with Carol commenting “your father wears shoes in the pool, that’s what you had to tell me?” Carol checks her messages, and there are none since the tapes have been switched. The three leave the apartment, with George and Jerry successfully accomplishing their mission. Carol then comments, that after they had finished talking on the phone earlier, her neighbor had played her her messages. George is caught off guard, and doesn’t know what to say, but manages and “Oh, uhhh”. Carol says “Yours were hilarious, we were both cracking up. I just love jokes like that.”

The Jacket

While out shopping with Elaine, Jerry comes across a suede jacket that he loves. The price on the jacket is much more than Jerry would normally pay, and it has an unusually candy cane striped inner lining. Elaine tells him to splurge because the jacket is stunning on him, and he can always have it relined, plus it’s the inside of the jacket, no one will see it. Back at his apartment, Kramer stops by, and sees the new jacket resting on a chair. He inquires about it, and comments that it must have cost a lot. Jerry says it did, and Kramer repeated asks how much. Jerry won’t answer him, so Kramer looks at the tag still on the jacket. He is surprised Jerry would spend so much on a jacket. Kramer then asks what he’s going to do with his old leather jacket, and asks if he can take it. Jerry lets him take it.

The following night, Jerry and George are supposed to meet Elaine and her father, the author, Alton Benes. George comes into Jerry’s apartment singing Master of the House from Les Miserables. As they get ready to leave, George notices Jerry’s new suede jacket and tries to get Jerry to tell him how much he paid for it, but Jerry won’t budge. Kramer barges in asking the two if they will watch his car for just 2 minutes while he’s illegally parked so he can a cage full of doves into the car. They tell him no, knowing full well that it will take much longer than Kramer anticipates.

As George and Jerry enter the hotel where Alton is staying, George is still singing Master of the House. Elaine has yet to arrive, so the three gentleman sit down and order drinks. Both George and Jerry are very nervous around Alton because he is such an accomplished author. Their conversation with Alton is awkward at best. Jerry excuses himself to go to the bathroom, really just wanting to escape the situation even for a short while. George continues talking with Alton, having no more success than when Jerry was with him. George then excuses himself to make a phone call, but slips into the bathroom with Jerry. They both agree that they cannot be stuck with Alton all night, and that if Elaine doesn’t show up in the next 10 minutes, they’ll leave.

When the meet up with Alton, he informs them that Elaine won’t arrive for another half hour. Elaine finally arrives while her father is in the bathroom. George and Jerry ask why she was so late, so she tells them the story. Kramer had promised her a ride to the hotel in exchange for Elaine watching his illegally parked car for a few minutes. Well, the few minutes turned into much longer, and the car ends up being towed. She then has to walk to the hotel. Alton returns from the bathroom and tells the group that they are going to eat at a Pakistani restaurant a few blocks away.

The gang heads outside, only to find out that it has begun to snow. Jerry is worried about his new suede jacket knowing that the snow will ruin it. He suggests taking a cab to the restaurant, but Alton shoots the idea down, repeating that it is only a few blocks away. Jerry doesn’t know what to do about his jacket, so George tells him to wear it inside out. Jerry quickly turns the jacket inside out and puts it on, but Alton sees him in the candy striped jacket (because of the lining), and says he looks like a fool, and to turn it back around.

The next day, Kramer comes into Jerry’s apartment, and notices the ruined jacket hanging in the shower. He asks what happened, and Jerry tells him about the snow the previous night. Kramer chides him on why he didn’t just turn the jacket inside out. Kramer asks if he can have the jacket, since it’s ruined to Jerry. Jerry lets him have it. Kramer comments that he’ll have to do something about the lining, and that it’s a shame that he just gave Kramer his old leather jacket, because now he doesn’t have a jacket at all.

The episode ends with Alton Benes driving back home, stone faced, and then he breaks into singing Master of the House.

The Pony Remark

Jerry’s parents, Helen and Morty, drag him along to a 50th anniversary dinner for his great aunt and uncle. Jerry drags Elaine along to the party as well. At the party, Jerry and Elaine are talking about ponies, and Jerry makes an off the cuff remark that he hates anyone that owned a pony growing up. His great aunt, Manya, interrupts his rant, and says she owned a pony growing up in Poland. Jerry hadn’t known this, and tries to apologize. His efforts are futile though, and Manya only get more angry, and leaves the table.

Later that evening, Jerry receives a phone call from his uncle Leo, informing him that his great aunt Manya has passed away. Jerry, George, and Elaine ponder whether or not Jerry’s comment was a factor in her death.

Kramer tells Jerry that he’s getting rid of all of his furniture, and installing levels in his apartment. Jerry scoffs at the idea, stating that Kramer will never finish it. The two make a bet as to whether or not Kramer will complete the levels idea.

Manya’s funeral is held on the same day as the softball championship for Jerry’s league. Jerry has a hard time deciding to attend the funeral, or to play in the game. Eventually, he goes to the funeral, apologizing to everyone for the pony remark. Isaac, Jerry’s great uncle, lets Jerry know that Manya had forgotten all about the pony remark and says that it played no factor in her death. While at the funeral, it starts to rain, and Jerry’s softball game gets postponed.

Jerry is able to play in the softball game due to the reschedule. However, he has a horrible game. Afterward, Jerry, George, and Elaine discuss Jerry’s poor performance, and wonder if Manya’s spirit hung over Jerry during the game. Back in Jerry’s apartment, Kramer stops by, as he often does. Jerry asks how the levels are coming along, and Kramer says he decided not to go with the idea. Jerry comments that he won the bet then, but Kramer argues it’s not that he couldn’t do it, but that he decided not to do it.

The Ex-Girlfriend

George has an emotional breakup with his girlfriend, Marlene, and he still has some books at her apartment. He wants the books back and asks Jerry if he’ll pick them up. Jerry asks George if he has read them already, which George tells him he has. Jerry tells him to forget about the books, it’s not like he will read them again, but George says they’re his books and he wants them back. In the end, George wins in persuading Jerry to retrieve the books. Jerry goes on a date with Marlene to get the books back. At the end of the date, while sitting outside Marlene’s building in Jerry’s car, Marlene tells Jerry there’s no reason they can’t still be friends even though she and George have broken up. At this point, Jerry has developed a bit of an infatuation for Marlene, and agrees with her.

They begin dating, but Jerry has a hard time telling George. Elaine learns of the situation and urges Jerry to tell George about it. Jerry tells George about their relationship, and George tells Jerry he’s fine with it. George doesn’t know why he’s fine with it, but he is. The next night, at the end of Jerry and Marlene’s date, Jerry invites Marlene up to his apartment, but she declines. He inquires as to why she declined, thinking things are going well. She tells him that she saw his act, and doesn’t think it is funny, and that she cannot be with a man if she does not respect his work. To which Jerry replies, “but you’re a cashier.”

This episode marks the first time in the series when Jerry’s comedy routine brings about an end to his relationship with a woman.

The Stock Tip

The episode opens with George, Jerry and Elaine sitting at Monk’s Cafe. Elaine tells the two men that she is horribly allergic to her boyfriend’s cats. George gets a stock tip from a friend of a friend (Simon’s friend Wilkinson), and encourages Elaine and Jerry to invest with him. Based on George’s recommendation, Jerry invests $2500 into the company. Later, Jerry convinces his girlfriend, Vanessa, to go to a bed and breakfast in Vermont with him for the weekend. Jerry checks on the stock, and sees that it has dropped. Later, Kramer comes into the apartment to let Jerry know the stock has dropped again. Jerry tells George to talk to Wilkinson to get some advice on the stock. George tells him he can’t because Wilkinson is in the hospital.

Jerry eventually sells his stock for a loss, while George decides he’s going to go down with the ship. Jerry and Vanessa go to the bed and breakfast in Vermont as planned. Unfortunately, they are confined to the bed and breakfast all weekend due to rain. Out of curiosity, Jerry checks on the stock, even though he has sold his shares, only to learn that it has risen dramatically. Vanessa comments that the only reason Jerry has taken her to Vermont is because he lost so much money on the stock. The close quarters, combined with the short time Jerry and Vanessa have been together prove too much for the relationship, and they break up by the end of the weekend.

George, Jerry, and Elaine are back at Monk’s Cafe together, with George relishing in his earnings from the stock, treating the other two to anything they want to eat at the cafe. The waitress brings them the check, and George just hands her a wad of cash without even looking at the check, telling her to keep the change. He then asks to see it out of curiosity, and takes back some of the money he gave her. Elaine tells George and Jerry that she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum, either her or his cats; he chose the cats.

Male Unbonding

Jerry has a hard time breaking his relationship with childhood friend, Joel Horneck. He tells George its hard to end the relationship because he’s a man. George tells him to treat Joel like a woman, and to break off the relationship normally. While Jerry and Joel are at Monk’s Cafe, Jerry gives Joel the news. Joel begins to cry, which causes Jerry to go back on the break up. He then offers to take Joel to a Knicks game.

Jerry and George were actually supposed to go to the Knicks game together. Jerry feels bad about giving the ticket to Joel, so he offers the other ticket to George. However, George doesn’t want to go to the game with Joel, because he says he doesn’t know him. Jerry ends up making up an excuse as to why he cannot go to the game with Joel, and gives him both tickets. Joel ends up taking Kramer, Jerry’s neighbor, to the game.

This would be the first episode where Kramer mentions his idea for a pizza parlor (under his company Kramerica Industries) where the customers toss their own pizza pie. They kneed the dough, add the toppings, and put in and take it out of the oven themselves.

The Robbery

Jerry’s apartment is burglarized after Kramer accidentally leaves the door open. Elaine has been having troubles with her roommate, as she is an annoying waitress/aspiring actress. Elaine uses this as an opening to try to get Jerry to move into an available apartment that George knows of, so Elaine can move into Jerry’s current apartment.

The Stakeout

Elaine asks Jerry to attend a dinner party with her. He does so begrudgingly, and ends up meeting a woman there. He doesn’t get her name or number, but remembers she works for a law firm, Simon, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. He and George stake out the lobby of the office building where the law firm is located, in the hopes that Jerry will accidentally run into her.

While waiting to run into the woman, George and Jerry get nervous she will ask what they are doing in the building. The come up with an excuse that they are waiting for another friend, Art Vandalay. The name Art Vandalay will become a reoccurring alias that George uses throughout the series.