Seinfeld Reference – Page 5 – A website about nothing

The Little Kicks

Elaine reluctantly allows George to attend a company party. George attempts to hit on Anna (Rebecca McFarland), one of Elaine’s employees, but she doesn’t seem interested. George is then horrified when he sees Elaine dancing at the party, a dance which causes her staff to lose all respect for her. Elaine mistakenly attributes this lack of respect to George’s presence at the party after talking to Jerry. She advises Anna to keep away from George, which causes Anna to think of George as a “bad boy”, making George desirable to her. George goes on to describe the dance as “a full body dry heave set to music”.

Jerry has gotten tickets to a sneak peek showing of Death Blow for himself and Kramer. However, Kramer quickly invites a friend, Brody (Neil Giuntoli), forcing Jerry to get another ticket. In the theater, Brody starts videotaping the film to make a bootleg version to sell on the streets. While taping, Brody becomes sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry says he won’t do it, but agrees when Brody threatens him with a gun. Jerry worries about the possible consequences of the illegal act, and whether or not Brody will like his taping. However, when he sees the finished product, Brody says it’s the most beautiful taping he’s ever seen, and asks Jerry to do another film called Cry, Cry Again. Jerry becomes a bootlegging legend on the streets, and demands better equipment for his next film. When Brody won’t agree with Jerry’s demands, Jerry becomes angry and leaves.

Kramer, seeing Elaine dancing, quickly informs her that “she stinks.” Jerry reluctantly confirms this, but Elaine is still not convinced. She videotapes herself over the ending of the bootleg master copy of Cry, Cry Again. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, explaining that George really is a good person, which makes him undesirable to Anna. But after hearing Jerry has quit bootlegging, George then decides to take up the job instead, in an effort to restore his “bad boy” image, but gets arrested in the process.

When Brody comes to pick up Cry, Cry Again that Jerry was going to shoot, all they have was the bad copy Kramer did, which Elaine has recorded her dancing over. Frank comes to bail him out but instead comes into a physical confrontation with Elaine over George’s incident.

Jerry and Elaine walk down the street where it’s revealed that Elaine beat Frank. When Jerry and Elaine go to Elaine’s apartment, everyone dances behind Elaine’s back, mocking her dance that they all saw at the end of the Cry, Cry Again bootleg.

The Bizarro Jerry

The signature Seinfeld theme song is played backwards in the tag scene of the episode – another reference to the “Bizarro” theme.

Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend Kevin (from “The Soul Mate”), but they decide to “just be friends.” Much to Elaine’s surprise, Kevin is thrilled at the idea, and starts becoming a much more reliable friend than Jerry. Meanwhile, Kramer accidentally gets a job at a company called Brandt/Leland when he aids an employee in the hall and starts going to meetings. He soon finds out he fits right in and starts working there for no pay, stating his reason as doing it “just for me.” When Jerry asks Kramer what he does, Kramer responds, “TCB – you know, taking care of business”! Various scenes depict Kramer eating crackers at lunch and shining his shoes at the water cooler.

Jerry starts dating Jillian (Kristin Bauer), an attractive woman whose only flaw is that she has “man hands.”, i.e. her hands are large and coarse like a man’s. George uses a picture of Jillian to get into the “forbidden city”, a club of attractive women and models, by saying that Jillian is his late fiancee Susan. Unfortunately, his luck ends when he accidentally burns the picture with a hair dryer. Jerry becomes bored at home, now that Kramer is “working”, Elaine is always hanging out with Kevin and his friends (Gene and Feldman, who are complete opposites, but physical look-alikes of George and Kramer, respectively), and George only comes to him when he wants something.

By the end of the episode, Kramer gets fired by Leland (despite the fact that the former doesn’t really work in the company) because of his shoddy work (“It’s almost as if you have no business training at all”). Jerry wants to be “just friends” with Jillian, who does not take too well to the idea. While trying to get another picture of her from her purse for George, she grabs Jerry’s wrist (which Jerry later describes as almost ripping his arm right out of the socket). George tries to use a picture of a model from a magazine to get back into the club, but his plan is foiled when he accidentally confronts exactly the same model from the magazine picture and gets kicked out. Elaine decides to stay with her “Bizarro friends”, but is explicitly asked to leave by them when they do not take to some of the normal things she usually does with Jerry like eating from the fridge and pushing someone with her outbursts of “get out!”

Later, George takes Jerry to the location of the club, but all they find is a meat packing plant. George is shocked while Jerry doesn’t believe there ever was a club there. As they leave, they miss seeing the photo George had taken from a magazine, lying amidst the sawdust on the ground.

The Soul Mate

George believes the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed Susan. Jerry suggests using a method employed by Jerry Lewis to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry’s girlfriend and he consults Newman for advice. Elaine’s friends insist that she have a baby; she’d rather not, and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a running tape recorder in his briefcase at the next board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer’s relationship with Pam; he bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession, Elaine.

Meanwhile, Elaine’s new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how committed he is to not having children. The guys find out Pam isn’t interested in having children and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase and finds out that a fellow employee had lost his balance and fallen on it. Elaine and her new friend go and get his vasectomy reversed and Jerry and Newman leave after Kramer gets his vasectomy.

The Foundation

The season opens at a local cemetery, where we see the gravestone of George’s late fiancée Susan in full view. While George wishes to move on from Susan’s tragic demise, her parents want to keep her memory alive by creating a foundation, inspired by a Star Trek reference Jerry told them about Susan, which ruins George’s newfound happiness. George is seen gazing at a portrait of a smiling Susan. Jerry breaks his engagement with Jeannie Steinman and reunites with Dolores (aka Mulva) from “The Junior Mint.” After a nervous breakdown, J. Peterman runs off to Burma and leaves Elaine in charge. Kramer becomes a martial arts expert at a karate academy for kids and convinces Elaine that she can run the company, which she does by putting her idea for an “urban sombrero” on the cover. She then finds out Kramer was fighting kids, and realizes her disastrous mistake. Kramer gets beaten up by the kids from his karate class in an alley. Elaine finds out her urban sombrero has destroyed some people’s lives. George finds out he would have inherited much of Susan’s riches had they been married, but now he is stuck at the foundation as they are auctioned off. The same portrait of Susan which hangs in the room where the foundation meet now seems to be sneering at George.

The Invitations

George and Susan go shopping for wedding invitations and George decides to buy the cheapest brand in the store. As they run into Kramer, he calls Susan “Lily”, much to Susan’s annoyance. Kramer later tells Jerry that a bank will offer anyone $100 if they are not greeted with a “hello” by a teller when they enter the building.

Jerry and Elaine realize that once George gets married it will be just the three of them. At night, Elaine admits that she is also leaving the group. In a dream sequence, Jerry and Kramer argue about inventing a periscope for use in an automobile, until Jerry is jarred back to reality by almost getting hit by a car and is saved by a woman named Jeannie Steinman (Janeane Garofalo).

Meanwhile, George tells Susan that Elaine wants to be an usher at their wedding, but Susan says no, saying that there will be no female ushers. She also says Kramer is no longer an usher since he called her Lily. George warns Susan that if she won’t let them be ushers, the two will be devastated. Susan tells George that she doesn’t care.

The next day, George tells Elaine and Kramer the news. Jerry tells them about Jeannie. George admits that he didn’t want to be with Susan after they got engaged, and that he needs to find a way to get out of the marriage without confronting Susan. Elaine suggests smoking in front of Susan, since Susan hates smoking. This doesn’t work, as the smoking makes George sick and Susan is not convinced. Kramer suggests a prenuptial agreement. When George requests it, Susan laughs out loud at him and George realizes he is stuck with the situation. Kramer goes to the bank, and upon being greeted with the word “hey” instead of “hello”, he asks to see the manager (Stephen Root).

Meanwhile, George and Susan receive a box of invitations. George leaves, and Susan begins licking the envelopes, commenting “Ugh! Awful!” Jerry, however, goes to the bar, only to run into Jeannie again and proposes marriage to her.

Meanwhile, Susan keeps licking the envelopes, gets sick and passes out. George goes to the bar and celebrates Jerry and Jeannie’s engagement. Jerry and Jeannie go to Monk’s Cafe. George returns to his apartment to find that Susan has collapsed. At Jerry’s apartment, Jerry tells Kramer that he doesn’t think that Jeannie is his type, and he regrets the proposal. Kramer says that he got only $20, not $100, from the bank. George calls and says that he took Susan to the hospital.

At the hospital, George, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine are informed that Susan has died from licking the envelopes (which contained toxic glue). The trio show sympathy for George. After a brief pause, George casually suggests that the group go out for coffee.

George goes back to his apartment and tries to call Marisa Tomei to have a date with him after the funeral, but she hangs up.

The Wait Out

George makes an off-hand joking remark to a married couple with a rocky relationship, leading to their breakup; Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, but George, troubled by the results of his comment, tries to get them back together. The man (Cary Elwes) from the couple makes the same remark to George and Susan, who acts in somewhat the same way the couple did when George made the remark; George sees this as a hopeful sign that Susan would call off the marriage. Eventually, yet unfortunately for George, the couple gets back together again. Elaine starts driving again and almost makes Jerry sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans he bought from Dungarees, but they are so tight that he cannot get them off, nor can he sit down. A resident asks Kramer to babysit her son, but the child mistakes Kramer’s stilted gait — due to the jeans — as that of Frankenstein’s Monster. Kramer runs after him, but is arrested by a cop who thinks Kramer is trying to kidnap the boy.

The Bottle Deposit

The Bottle Deposit, Part 1

Since he will be out of town, Mr. Peterman wants Elaine to bid for him on a set of golf clubs owned by John F. Kennedy at an auction. He tells her he is willing to go as high as $10,000 for the clubs. Jerry thinks he hears a strange clunking noise in his car and asks Kramer and Newman, who had previously borrowed the car, about it, but they don’t know anything. Newman learns that bottles and cans can be refunded for 10 cents in Michigan (as opposed to 5 cents in many other states), but Kramer tells him it’s impossible to gain a profit from depositing the bottles in Michigan due to the total gas, tollbooth and truck rental fees that would compile during the trip, noting his own failed attempts because he “couldn’t crunch the numbers.” Newman becomes obsessed with finding a way to make such a scheme work.

Meanwhile, Mr. Wilhelm is scolding George for needing to have orders repeated to him. Shortly after, Mr. Wilhelm begins talking of a big project for him to do just as he enters the bathroom. After waiting outside for a short while, George decides to go in, too. But when he enters, he finds that Wilhelm, who had thought George had followed him inside the entire time, had unknowingly been telling about the details of the big project out loud to nobody. Not wanting him to think he wasn’t paying attention, George pretends he heard everything. He later asks Jerry what to do and Jerry tells him to ask Wilhelm a follow-up question.

Jerry then takes Elaine to the auction, where they bump into Sue Ellen Mischke, the bra-less “Oh Henry!” candy bar heiress, who taunts them about “getting a glimpse of high society.” During the bidding, they start a bidding war over JFK’s clubs, and Elaine ends up paying $20,000, twice what she was authorized by Peterman to spend. Jerry again hears a loud clunking noise while dropping Elaine off. Elaine decides to leave the clubs in Jerry’s car and pick them up later. As he starts to leave, smoke begins billowing out from under the hood and Jerry finds out that Kramer and Newman had left some groceries in his car engine.

He visits Tony (Brad Garrett), a mechanic who is obsessed with car care. George tries to use Jerry’s suggestion at work the next day, and Wilhelm unknowingly drops a hint: to get started, he first has to go to payroll. There, the clerk gives George a hard time because he’s not being specific enough about “the project.” The clerk calls Wilhelm to verify George’s claims, but doesn’t drop George any further hints.

Meanwhile, Newman, who has spent days trying to calculate a profit to the deposit scheme, realizes that there will be a surge of mail the week before Mother’s Day (the “mother of all mail days”) to be sorted in Saginaw, Michigan. He tells Kramer that he signed up for a mail truck that would carry spillover mail from the other four main trucks, leaving plenty of space left over in theirs for bottles and cans to refund in Michigan. Kramer realizes that by avoiding truck rental fees, Newman has found a loophole and they set off collecting cans and bottles around the city.

Wilhelm visits George to see how he is doing with the project. George informs him that he went down to payroll and Wilhelm asks if he is going downtown then. When asked if “going downtown is really necessary for the project”, Wilhelm tells George that he has to go downtown, and mentions the Petula Clark song ‘Downtown.’ Thinking it’s another clue, George and Jerry try to decipher it, but to no avail. George considers coming clean and admitting to Wilhelm that he has no idea what the project is. Jerry goes home and finds a message from Tony saying he needs to talk to him at the Auto Shop. Elaine calls shortly after and wants to pick up Peterman’s golf clubs. Jerry tells her he left them in the car at the mechanic’s, so they decide to meet up there.

Tony wants to make a lot of changes to the car, but Jerry doesn’t want to spend so much money. He asks Tony if he could just have it back so he can take his business elsewhere. Tony is disappointed, but tells him he’ll bring the car out front for him. Elaine arrives and meets Jerry to pick up the clubs just in time to see Tony driving away with Jerry’s car.

The Bottle Deposit, Part 2

Mr. Wilhelm is delighted with the job George did on the project; however, George has no idea what he did or how he did it. Unknowingly to George, Mr. Wilhelm had forgotten to take his medication, which would explain his compliment.

While riding in the mail truck with Newman, a surprised Kramer suddenly spots Jerry’s stolen car on an Ohio highway and alerts Jerry on his house phone that he brought along. Newman and Kramer quickly argue whether to deliver their mail and empty bottles to Saginaw, Michigan as they had planned, or to pursue Jerry’s stolen car as it exits the highway in Ohio, to which Kramer agrees.

George is sent to a mental hospital by Steinbrenner, due to George’s “report”. At the mental hospital, George bumps into Deena, (from “The Gum”), who believes George is finally getting the help he needs.

While still chasing Jerry’s car, Kramer dumps their empty bottles to make the truck move faster and soon after dumps Newman. Newman then finds a farmer’s house, complete with his proverbial daughter. As Kramer continues his chase, Tony throws all of the JFK golfclubs at him, and Kramer is soon forced to give up the chase when the van gives out from the damage the clubs caused to it. Newman violates the farmer’s only rule, to keep his hands off his daughter, and he and Kramer run away while being shot at. The daughter stops her father, but calls Newman “Norman” as she professes her love for him and bids him goodbye. Peterman’s golf clubs (a valuable collectors’ item) are returned (albeit in a bent and battered state), but not Jerry’s car. Elaine gives the bent golf clubs to Mr. Peterman, who mistakes it being in a battered state by thinking Kennedy was an angry golfer.

The Calzone

Steinbrenner becomes intrigued when he smells George’s lunch during a meeting. George explains that it is an eggplant calzone and allows him to taste it. Steinbrenner then has George bring him a calzone for lunch every day. One day at the Paisano restaurant, George puts some money into the tip jar but realizes his gesture was unnoticed by the employee. George tries to fish out the money in order to replace it and get recognition for his tip. Then the Counter Guy (Peter Allas) turns and, under the impression that George is stealing money from the jar, refuses to sell him any more calzones. In anxiety, George recommends to Steinbrenner that they try something new for lunch the next day. Steinbrenner insists that they continue to keep their routine. George makes a deal to obtain the calzones from Newman, whose mail route brings him past Paisano’s every day. Naturally, Newman dickers: “Well, for starters I want a calzone of my own… And a slice of pepperoni pizza and a large soda and three times a week I will require a cannoli.”

Meanwhile, Kramer is raving about wearing clothes “straight out of the dryer,” because the warmth is comfortable; and Elaine’s new friend, Todd Gack (John D’Aquino), is dating her without really ever asking her out. This puzzles her, and Jerry explains, “Because if he doesn’t ask you out, he doesn’t get rejected. He has found a dating loophole.”

Jerry takes advantage of his beautiful girlfriend Nicki’s (Danette Tays) ability to get anything she wants, including convincing a cop to not give Jerry a speeding ticket. Todd Gack offers to sell Jerry some Cuban cigars, which Jerry thinks “might be a nice idea for George’s wedding,” but they turn out to be from Peru. Kramer starts using Jerry’s oven to warm his clothing.

When Newman decides not to go to work because it is raining, George asks Kramer to get him a calzone so that he can stay in Steinbrenner’s good graces. Kramer agrees, but also, because he got wet in the rain, puts his clothes in the pizza oven at Paisano’s, and they get burned. He tries to pay the calzone seller with pennies and an argument ensues; the Counter Guy kicks Kramer out of the restaurant. Kramer goes to George’s office and drops his burnt clothes by a vent.

Jerry and Elaine lose Nicki and Todd to one another, when Nicki sees Todd about the cigars but he winds up wheedling another “non-date date” dinner with her. Jerry and Elaine are smoking the Peruvian cigars, which “smell like a rubber fire”; when Elaine asks Jerry if he wound up paying for them, Jerry says, “It’s being taken care of right now.” The scene cuts to Kramer knocking at Todd’s apartment door, then tossing him a large, heavy sock full of pennies.

The calzone smell from Kramer’s clothes wafts into Steinbrenner’s office, and he runs to George’s office, thinking he has calzones. Steinbrenner realizes the smell is from the clothes, and, like Kramer, thinks, “Heating up your clothes? That’s not a bad idea.”

The Wig Master

When Jerry leaves an upscale clothing store without making a purchase, he feels guilty and promises that he will return. When the sales clerk Craig, who sports a long ponytail, looks skeptical, Jerry decides to return (with Elaine), just to prove a point. But when they return, Craig is no longer interested in Jerry and almost immediately begins flirting with Elaine, much to Jerry’s chagrin. Craig promises Elaine a big discount on a Nicole Miller dress that she likes, but which has not arrived in stock yet. In her professional life, Elaine is writing copy for J Peterman about an exotic silver-handled walking stick.

Meanwhile, George and Kramer have begun parking their cars at a discount parking lot (Jiffy Park) because their rates are so low. However, after picking his car George discovers a condom inside and suspects that the rates are low because prostitutes are servicing their clients inside the cars. The lot is unable to retrieve Kramer’s own car for him, but, to placate him, offers him the use of another customer’s Mary Kay pink Cadillac Eldorado. George sticks around to see whether the suspicious women hanging around are actually prostitutes. He offers one of them money for information, but is caught by Susan who assumes he is unfaithful.

George has an unwanted houseguest in Susan’s friend Ethan, who is the “Wig Master” working for a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Ethan at one point admires Elaine’s hair, telling her she could sell it for a lot of money. Ethan’s co-worker, the show’s costume designer, lends Kramer the technicolor dreamcoat. Kramer puts on the coat, combined with a large woman’s hat blown off by the wind and the Peterman walking stick, and goes to pick up the pink Cadillac. But he finds a prostitute servicing a client in the car, and when he ejects her, she starts arguing with him about the fee he has cost her. The police arrive and assuming Kramer to be a pimp, (due to observing him dressed outrageously and arguing with a prostitute about money) they arrest him.

Jerry continues to fume about Craig’s slight toward him, and unsuccessfully attempts to return his jacket out of spite. When Jerry is lunching with the wig master, another man stops by and starts flirting with the wig master; Jerry demands to know why the other man assumed he and the wig master were not together. Jerry tries to convince Elaine that Craig is just promising the discount on the dress in order to keep seeing her. At first she doesn’t believe him, especially when she finds out that Craig also promises the discount to a male friend. Jerry’s suspicions are confirmed, however, when Elaine finds out that the dress has been in stock at the store all along. At the end of the episode, Elaine brandishes scissors at the sleeping Craig’s long ponytail.

The Friar’s Club

George successfully delays his wedding until late June, three months after it was supposed to take place. Jerry goes out with Susan’s best friend. Jerry loses a jacket he borrowed for dinner at the Friar’s Club. Kramer tries polyphasic sleep, also known as Da Vinci sleep. J. Peterman hires a partially deaf employee (Rob Schneider). Elaine suffers the consequences when she gets loaded with most of his work, due to his poor hearing.

Elaine questions the employee’s disability and coerces Jerry to test him. The results are inconclusive, and Elaine has some fun testing him by swearing her love for him. Elaine’s boss overhears, and gives them two tickets to the magic show where Jerry lost his jacket the night before. Elaine is pressured to attend by her boss, who suspects Elaine’s remarks to Bob Grossberg (the practically deaf employee) were not sincere.

Kramer is dating Connie (Lisa Arch), who never wants to leave his apartment. After Kramer falls asleep on her during a make-out session, she thinks that he’s dead and calls some mobster-type friends of hers to “get rid” of him. Kramer is subsequently dumped into the East River in a sack.

At the magic show, Jerry eventually finds the magicians who he believes took his Friar’s Club Jacket, and when he rips it from their hands, he finds that the jacket isn’t his. The magicians had given the real Friar’s Club jacket back to Jerry’s girlfriend. Furious at Jerry, the magicians chase him and George backstage. Meanwhile, when Elaine’s date, Bob, is being kicked out for nearly groping her and accidentally drops his hearing aid, Elaine takes the opportunity to try it on. Jerry, sprinting away from the magicians, seeks the emergency exit. The alarm sounds, and the hearing aid in Elaine’s ear explodes with a high-pitched, constant screech.

In the final scene, Kramer and the police show up at Connie’s door. Connie opens the door; Kramer points her out to one of the officers. That officer informs Connie that she is under arrest. She denies doing anything wrong, but the officer tells her that he is taking her away. She asks if she can call her lawyer; the officer allows her. When he answers his phone, Connie tells him to meet her at the police station. Her lawyer, who happens to be Jackie Chiles, asks her whom she was accused of attempting to murder. Upon hearing that the person in question is Kramer, Jackie tells Connie that he wants nothing to do with it. He hangs up, ending the episode.