The Fusilli Jerry

On the street Elaine tells Jerry she is dating David Puddy, Jerry’s mechanic; Elaine thinks of him as similar to a Stanley Kowalski. George is having lunch with his mother, Estelle Costanza, at Monk’s. She says she is going for an eye job now that she is separated from Frank (“The Chinese Woman”). Kramer, who has plenty of free time, can pick her up after the operation, just as soon as he gets his new license plates.

At the Department of Motor Vehicles office, Kramer receives someone else’s vanity plates which read “ASSMAN”. Elaine is then shown in bed with David Puddy.

At Monk’s, Elaine discusses with Jerry how David Puddy used Jerry’s “move” on her while they were having sex. While Jerry says he will prohibit Puddy from doing it anymore, Elaine rectifies saying she liked it and that it was not even the same one, as Jerry ended with a “swirl” and David with a “pinch”.

On the street, George tells Jerry he needs a move to perform with his new girlfriend, Nancy. Back at the apartment, Jerry finishes explaining the ending of his move which is ad libitum: it can be a pinch but Jerry prefers the clockwise swirl. Kramer enters presenting Jerry with a small statue of him made with fusilli pasta, a “Fusilli Jerry”. When Jerry questions Kramer as to why he chose Fusilli, Kramer replies, “Because you’re silly!” Kramer says he is also working on a “Ravioli George”. About his ASSMAN plates, Kramer believes that the real owner is a proctologist. He tells Jerry and George that if they ever meet a proctologist at a party, they should stand nearby to be assured of hearing a funny story that will inevitably end with someone claiming “It was a million-to-one shot, Doc”.

Jerry confronts Puddy at his workshop, calling him a “hack”, about “the move”. They have a falling out, and Jerry is prompted to take his car to another mechanic.

George upsets his girlfriend when trying to perform “the move” in bed (“it feels like aliens poking at my body”). Elaine describes it as a “big-budget motion picture that goes nowhere”. Puddy cannot continue doing his move with Elaine because of uncomfortable feelings brought on by his earlier confrontation with Jerry. George’s mother, Estelle, goes to the doctor and is told she must not cry for the next 10 days or she will have complications with her eye surgery. When going to pick her up, Kramer makes the best of the situation, using the plates to convince a parking lot security guard that he is a proctologist entitled to use a doctors-only parking space. While driving home, the plates elicit cheers and catcalls from passing drivers. Estelle, assuming that the catcalls were made at her is unaware that the gestures were made at Kramer’s plates. When they hit a pothole Kramer reaches across Estelle’s chest to brace her, making Estelle think that Kramer is making a pass at her by “stopping short”.

At the apartment Jerry says George probably screwed the progression of “the move”, which would explain George’s girlfriend’s poor reception of it. Jerry receives a phone call from his new mechanic about an estimate, and he thinks they are overcharging him. Elaine comes with the news that, thanks to Jerry, Puddy will not use “the move” again; since, Puddy has settled on a poor move that involves a “knuckle”. George, in turn, recognizes this as his own move. Jerry begs Elaine to covertly find out from Puddy how much it would be to fix his car so Jerry can determine if he is being ripped off by his new mechanic. Kramer, the “Assman”, arrives with Sally, his new bottom-heavy girlfriend.

Estelle and Frank start fighting when she recounts Kramer’s “stopping short” with her on the drive home from the Doctor’s office earlier in the day. Frank recognizes the “stop short and grab” as his move; he sets out to find Kramer. Elaine, in bed with Puddy, asks him questions about gaskets and prices for auto repair. Meanwhile, George has just performed great in bed with Nancy; however, she inquires about the ball point pen writing on his palm and discovers he had crib notes and runs off; he argues it was a complicated move and that he should be allowed to cheat as it was not like it was the SAT exam.

Jerry tells Elaine he is going back to Puddy as a mechanic, and that Puddy can now use any move he wants since the value of a good mechanic is better than sex. Frank arrives looking for Kramer, and they briefly begin arguing, in the course of which the Bro or Manssière disagreement from a previous episode (“The Doorman”) is brought up. George arrives just in time to see his father lose his balance and fall backwards onto the Fusilli Jerry statue, which had been knocked onto the floor.

At the doctor’s office Jerry, George and Elaine shift uncomfortably in their seats at the thought of “corkscrew pasta.” Kramer spots a picture on the wall of the doctor’s office portraying the doctor’s boat with the name “ASSMAN” on it. Kramer asks the proctologist if his recently renewed license plates had perhaps been mixed up with someone else’s and whether he is the “assman”; the doctor winks back. From off-screen, Frank is heard saying, “It was a million-to-one shot, Doc.”

In the last scene, George takes his father back to his mother’s home. She cannot hold back her tears at seeing him after his ordeal with the statue and starts crying thereby ruining her surgery.

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