The Puerto Rican Day

The gang are heading back to Manhattan after leaving a Mets game early (to beat the traffic), but run into trouble with a driver in a maroon Volkswagen Golf. In the car, George boasts about the clever comment (“That’s gotta hurt!!”) he recently made during a pivotal moment in a new film about the Hindenburg disaster titled Blimp.

As they approach Fifth Avenue, traffic is blocked by the annual Puerto Rican Day Parade. They almost find a way out down an alley, but are blocked by their nemesis in the maroon Golf, whose driver refuses to let them cross over.

Elaine gets out of the car, worried about not being able to arrive home for her Sunday night “weekend wind-down” routine, which includes watching 60 Minutes. She starts walking only to find the traffic move again. She gets into a taxi (where she is oddly infuriated by the sight of a dog with its ear flipped inside out), only to find the traffic immediately stop. Then, she leaves the taxi, only to find the traffic immediately moving again.

George also leaves the car when he sees that the film Blimp is playing in a nearby theater, and he wants to repeat his funny comment for the audience. But his attempt to be funny is undermined by a man with a laser pointer and when George makes the comment, nobody laughs because they are instead laughing at the laser.

Jerry and Kramer are finally allowed to take their shortcut when Jerry is forced to make an apologetic wave to the maroon Golf driver. As they pass by the Golf, Jerry calls the driver a “jackass”, only to find himself stuck in the alley by oncoming traffic. The maroon Golf driver laughs and won’t let him back up again.

A frustrated George then returns to the car, only to find the red dot of the laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. A panicked George can’t see the man holding the laser and worries he will go blind if it touches his eye.

Seeking an alternative way home, Elaine tries to find a way out by walking underneath the viewing stands. In a send up of The Poseidon Adventure, Elaine becomes the leader of a group of similarly distressed people trying to find their way out. She ultimately, however, leads them to a dead end where they have to scream for help to the people above.

Kramer, meanwhile, becomes desperate for a restroom and spots an apartment for sale across the street. To gain access to its restroom, he poses as H.E. Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, philanthropist, and bicyclist interested in the property. While there he sees the Mets game (they had left early) on the apartment’s television. He excitedly tells Jerry, who also leaves the car and enters the apartment to watch, posing under his alias Kel Varnsen.

George thinks he spots the laser guy and plans a sneak attack, grabbing what he thinks is the laser pointer only to discover it is a pen. Back outside, Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire with a sparkler (“Dios mio!”) and a mob of people, led by Bob and Cedric (in their third and final appearance), attacks him. He runs back into the apartment.

George also enters the apartment to wash the ink from his hands. Jerry then realizes that all three of them are in the apartment and nobody is watching the car. They look out the window to find it destroyed by the angry mob.

Late in the evening, when the parade’s over, Jerry, George and Kramer see the destroyed car in dismay. Elaine arrives, her clothes and hair filthy with food. Then the maroon Golf driver passes by and calls Jerry a “jackass”. Defeated, the gang starts walking home and Jerry says “remember where we parked”, making reference to season three episode The Parking Garage. While they’re shown walking from behind, it is seen that George still has the laser dot on his waist.

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